Some stuff....

So I've realized some things (some old, some new)...

Love will only grow as much as you let it.

Everything definitely happens for a reason.

Some friends are really only around for a season.

Tempers should always be in check or stupid things happen.

It's best to keep some problems to yourself.

If you're going to make a relationship work, you gotta work. HARD

Even parents can be childish.

You can go against the odds and make it.

Love really can make everything worth while.

A hug from someone who cares about you more than anything can heal a lot of things.

Sometimes people really need to mind their own business.

Money sucks... hahaha

Your true friends will always have your back.

The rest can go take a lollilop and blow it.

Sometimes you just have to focus on the future and let everything work its way out.

So yeah... lots of thinking going on right now. He's out to prove he's not a bad guy to everyone. I'm out to show just because you have a heart and care doesn't mean you can be walked on.

Heartbroken

HEARTBROKEN

4.23.09

I ache

for my heart is broken in two

part for me

part for you

so many tears have been shed

so much pain and agony

and all the thinking in my head

I just wanted you to be my dream come true

and everything just be me and you

I wanted your heart, soul and mind

I wanted everything to be just right

if only I'd had insight

to your heart, soul and mind

maybe this day you would still be all mine

I feel as if I share you

not with your boys

but with others who can't possibly know you

not in the way that I do

I've seen your pain

I've seen your joy

I've been there when you felt as if you were destroyed

I'm here still going thru it all

with you

with me

hoping everything will be

ok, alright, just fine

hoping with time it will all be true

like it was in the beginning

I miss the passion

I miss the warmth

I miss the love

You say its there

but you don't show it

how am I supposed to know it

how am I supposed to feel

when it feels like I'm being drug under the wheel

torn apart

into shreds

my whole life is something I now dread

I look into everything

hoping I'll find a key

the answer to everything

but instead I just find myself wishing

wishing for that life we once led.

Tearz dat I cry

Chuckie Akenz

Tearz dat I cry

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared

Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

Turn around and walk away

I need some personal space

To get my mind straight and disappear without a trace

My life is just a waste of money and minutes

Like love is just a waste of my tears and my feelings

Nobody else is living my life except myself

I can choose to ignore the conditions of my health

Bad days become weak days and hard to really speak

Explain what's on my mind and everything all combined

Dammit I ain't lying

Dear god I feel like dying

Why is it every night that my eyes continue crying?

Alone here in the dark and writing these last words

My gift is not a blessing

My obsession is a curse

Thought it couldn't be worse

Feeling how much it hurts

My pride is ready to burst from putting myself first

Trying to help someone else before I can help myself

I wanted to end the pain that's real is how I felt

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared

Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

How many fuckin times does a young one have to try

Still struggling to live but still itchin to die

Sometimes I used to cry because I felt nobody cared

All the pain I used to have I felt no one could share

Sometimes I felt alone because no on was even there

My days of tears are done because there's no more tears to shed

All I see it in my head like how I'm gonna die

Leave my body lying cold my fam (or fans) n peeps will cry

And Bullets will always fly

your mommas will always try

to see the lil kid's G each ride up in the sky

And it's worth every minute when we stare into their eyes

And kids did daddy's tried it but to blind it with pride

So instead they gotta hide

Don't kno if the kid's alive trying to hold on the feeling

And we see that's just a lie

Because most men do it

Doesn't mean it makes it right

It takes two to make a life

One husband and his wife

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared

Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]

There's lots of kids sleepin I'm still tossin n turning

Deep inside I'm still flossing this burn

And I cry like a b1tch one nobody's around

It's a pain I hide inside so I never make a sound

I'm a soldier from the very day I was born

And when it's over that's the quote for my tombstone

20 years gone by I feel like I'm chasin a lie

They tell me don't chase things unless ur willin to die

And at this point straight up I stopped givin a fuk

Too many scars in this mess

I feel like giving it up

I guess it's karma but fuk my karma don't work

I do good expecting good but instead I get hurt

I'm society's dirt, well fed in metro houses

Convicted a few times I can never be renounced

My life is a poem in a story u see

But all I really ask was to see me for me

And I kno that lost souls will pity it all

Even when u fall down u gotta learn how to crawl

My heart's harder the wall

Maybe that's why I can't show any feeling for this world

That's why they don't know

These memories lie in the tears that I cry and nobody is here all the love disappeared

Destroyed all my pride thinking back on the night where I wanted to die cuz I hated my life [[my life...]]